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I never could forget youI never could forget you
I swear I tried
But every time I saw you
All those feelings rushed back inside.
I vowed to move on
To look into someone else's eyes
To say those words
That I never seem to find
But I saw your eyes in his
I saw your dreams in them
I saw our memories
Instead of him.
Only a stupid gameAre you mine?
Were you ever?
Felt so close
But we were never
There was this feeling
Looming over us
A sign, an omen,
We wouldn't last
That wasn't love
That was want
That was greed
That was selfishness
Tearing up within me
I stood there
You walked away from me
You kissed her
While I waited for you patiently
That was never love
Disappointment is its name
Stalking and waiting
Jumping at your name
That was never love,
Only a stupid game.
How muchHow much worry can my poor heart take?
How much more indifference can I fake?
Before it all comes tumbling out,
And you realize what I'm all about.
YOU MESSED UPYou know that feeling....that says...YOU MESSED UP.
That annoying, nagging feeling that you just can't seem to shake off.
Just when things are going good, you say something stupid and mess it up.
And after the moment has passed, and days go by, you try so hard not to think about what happened, to try and not feel guilty or stupid about it. But of course, it doesn't work!
So close to something you've chased for so long, only to say something reckless and push it further away.
Ah, the feeling is oh so familiar to me.
No matter how much I distract myself, how deep I try to delve into my work so that my mind doesn't get a chance to start its train of thought, it's still there.
It's right there, at the back of my mind, waiting for my mind to take a break, and it pops up again. Those words in capital letters, mockingly staring at me...'YOU MESSED UP.'
And the guilt invariably follows. It takes over my brain. And soon, all I feel is guilt. Guilt for jeopardizing my own dream, my own goal, my
Can you really leave everything behind?If only it were that easy to leave everything behind; just pack your bag and leave. To leave behind your past, your history, the people who were there for you, who weren't there for you, those who matter and those who don't. Leaving behind everything familiar and stepping into the unknown, armed with...nothing really. Always having been inside a shell, safe from the big bad world, stepping out into the unknown can be just as desirable as it is frightening. That desire to know if you can really make it on your own overpowers the reasoning that tells you it is easier said than done. "But think of all those experiences! And there'll be nobody to stop me, nobody to tell me what to do!" you tell yourself.
And yet, if you think about it practically, leaving behind your safety net; the people who matter, those familiar surroundings, things you thought were absolutely vital for your survival, can be quite daunting.
And do you really have the heart?
The heart to leave all the people
Like a dream to be missedShe walked away
Without a backward glance,
Never uttering what I wanted to say,
Didn't give her a chance.
Waited not to see what it could be,
T'was the pride and ego engulfing me.
(She must have cried,
I wish I hadn't lied.)
I let her slip by
Like sand in my fist,
And now she's gone
Like a dream to be missed.
Nine TimesI saw him nine times.
The first time we were both sitting in the room together, getting ready to take the math test that would determine our placement. I was scatterbrained and throwing things around, trying to find the pencils that I had known I would need but had still just tossed in my purse. He was lounging backwards in his chair, looking for all the world as though he didn’t have a single care in the world, including the upcoming test. It annoyed me, that I was frantic and ready to scream, while someone else could be that relaxed.
I tested out of the class.
I don’t know if he did.
The second time I saw him, it was a few months after I arrived on campus. He was the one rushing and frantic this time, running across the square. He was probably late for class, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I was already lost in my own thoughts and ideas, deciding on my major and convincing people that yes, this is what I really want to do with my life. If they weren
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