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What just happened?!What just happened?!
It was horrible.
A massacre of my dreams!
It all happened so fast, before I knew it, it was over.
I hate myself for it.
I hate that I allowed it to happen.
I hate that I didn't control the situation.
I let it spiral down, so fast too, that it just whizzed by.
Those words, those feelings, those empty stares
Those, lack of words going god knows where.
Look what has become of it all.
Because I am too scared of goodbye.
I can't say it
I know you know
I can't even whisper it
Haven't done it before.
But I don't want to lose you
You're all that I know
But what if you're not who I thought you were?
WhyWhy does life have to be so taxing?
Why does every wonderful day have to be followed by agony and pain?
Why can't peace stay a little longer?
Why do all good things come to an end so soon?
I just want to be happy. Or at least go a day without being hurt.
Why does happiness evade me so?
Why does pain invariably follow?
Every time I find a ray of hope, this darkness mercilessly crushes it.
How am I even surviving with this daily struggle?
There are so many times I have felt like simply giving up, but we all can't do that.
Someone has to be strong. So be it. I shall try to be that someone.
I shall try to devour the pain and still survive.
I shall support you when you need it,
And smile even when I am dying inside.
GoodbyeI died inside over and over again
Where were you
When I needed a shoulder to cry on
Where were you
I wanted to run away
I wanted someone to keep me safe
You were never there
You never did care
And now it is time to say goodbye
You hurt me a million times over
You didn't mean to, but you did
And now I am not who I used to be
I am no longer me
This mind is playing tricks on me
It's time to leave this life I live
And embrace the one I've always known
The one in which I believe
A wonderland of my very own.
NothingNothing is keeping me alive anymore,
There's nothing to hold on to.
Everything is slipping away
And I feel forlorn
I am on the verge of giving up,
On the verge of letting go
I want to explode into a million pieces
Never to return
Never to feel
I don't want to sense
I don't want to think
I just don't want to be.
I just want to be freeStuck here,
Anywhere but here
Wanna run away.
Away from this mess, this misery;
Away from this world,
Away from it all,
No more hurt
I just want to be free.
My first loveIt's alright if you're never mine,
I'll learn to survive, I'll be fine.
But to forget you will be hell of a task
Even when I'm sad, I'll have to don a happy mask.
The tears I shed will be when I am alone
I won't share the pain; my unhappiness will not be known.
I'll smile through it all
I'll rebuild my wall,
I won't let anyone in ever again
I cannot deal with the pain.
But the memories, I'll treasure them in my heart
And they'll be the inspiration for all my art.
You may forget but I never will
You were my first love in fact, you are still.
ThoughtsSometimes we block the truth from our conscious minds. We know it is there, somewhere; those nagging thoughts at the back of our minds. They are lurking, but the reality and fact is that we don't want to know the final truth to which these thoughts are going to lead us. More like, we are going to have to face the truth once we think the thoughts through. When we don't like where it is headed, we leave them incomplete, rotting away. Hoping we forget we ever thought them. But they are there. And no matter how hard we try to forget, they are still there. And when we least expect it, they are going to spring back to the top of our thoughts until we are compelled to face the vile truth from which we have been running and hiding. We fool ourselves into thinking we don't care. We condition our minds into forgetting we ever cared. But certain thoughts are linked to certain feelings .they are instinct. You cannot forget them. You cannot hide from them. Not for long anyway. They always come
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